Saturday, November 27th

So, I find out this morning at 6:24 a.m. that my child support check was dispersed on Wednesday, November 24.  But, since the state of  Maine thinks that it needs to take so many days off in a year, you would think I would receive the check today.  But, I'm sure they just HAD to have Black Friday off too, so I will sit and wait until Monday for the check probably!  Well, I'm going back to bed until the mail comes at 9:30 a.m., at which time I will post a continuum to this blog and let all you people know how the state of Maine works, and when!

Friday, November 26

So, today is the day after Thanksgiving.  Yesterday was an alright day for the most part.  The best part was that Thor's mother actually invited him to her house for the family dinner.  It's been about three years since she practically "disowned" her own son.  So when she asked if Thor was home and told him to come, it was quite a shocker.  It pleased me, Thor and the family.  It must have been a nice feeling for Thor.  He hugged his mother a few times while we were there.  The day went well until about 5 a.m. this morning when I woke up with massive stomach pains.  I ran to the bathroom, had diarrhea and puked.  Not to mention I puked over the side of the bed too.  Thankfully Jen had Raiden for the night and today, so the girls played all day while I rested.  They behaved exceptionally well, knowing I was sick.  I don't think it was the food, I think it was too many klonopin and soboxone that didn't go so well together.  Never again, with the klonopin anyway!  Thor got his paycheck, miraculously, since it's a holiday week we expected it Monday.  He bought himself some boots, and got 10 Baby Bottle Pop (woohoo), me a crossword puzzle book, Raiden a bath toy, the girls some baby ZhuZhu pets and McDonald's for supper.  They definitely deserved it for behaving so well while mommy was sick.  Oh yeah, and since Thor was so mad at me yesterday, he "grounded" me from the internet today.  He took the internet connection piece to work.  Whoopdidoo, considering I couldn't even get outta bed to get outta my own way anyway.  I think we're back on good terms as of now.  He's out with Brian and Amy scouting some copper and steel, looking to make more money with the steel yard opens on Monday.  I'm going to retire for the night.

Love and hate

I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 13 years, more on then off.  We've never been considered a good couple, not even close.  Why I stay with him, I'm not so sure.  It's like I'm stuck, you stick with what you know, cause I certainly can't say I'm comfortable.  Who can be comfortable when your boyfriend threatens to slit your throat?  Over the most childish reasons?  I don't think he even knows what he's really mad about today.  And to lock me outta my own bedroom, tell me I'm sleeping on the couch while our son sleeps in there with him!  Not to mention this is MY house , in MY name and if I do resort to the couch tonight, it's the last night he will EVER stay here!  For a person who is already in trouble for domestic criminal threatening, I don't think that throat-cutting threat was the smartest statement out of his mouth this evening!  He continues to think he can treat me like this and get away with it because I constantly get him out of trouble, or go back on my word when I call the police, why can't he understand that he isn't invincible, I just need to grow some balls.  He doesn't even realize that he's got barely anything or anybody left in his life, and he's on the verge of losing what little he does have!  I have my issues, my downfalls, my lying, my addiction, my yelling, but regardless of all of that, I don't deserve what he does to me!