Love and hate

I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 13 years, more on then off.  We've never been considered a good couple, not even close.  Why I stay with him, I'm not so sure.  It's like I'm stuck, you stick with what you know, cause I certainly can't say I'm comfortable.  Who can be comfortable when your boyfriend threatens to slit your throat?  Over the most childish reasons?  I don't think he even knows what he's really mad about today.  And to lock me outta my own bedroom, tell me I'm sleeping on the couch while our son sleeps in there with him!  Not to mention this is MY house , in MY name and if I do resort to the couch tonight, it's the last night he will EVER stay here!  For a person who is already in trouble for domestic criminal threatening, I don't think that throat-cutting threat was the smartest statement out of his mouth this evening!  He continues to think he can treat me like this and get away with it because I constantly get him out of trouble, or go back on my word when I call the police, why can't he understand that he isn't invincible, I just need to grow some balls.  He doesn't even realize that he's got barely anything or anybody left in his life, and he's on the verge of losing what little he does have!  I have my issues, my downfalls, my lying, my addiction, my yelling, but regardless of all of that, I don't deserve what he does to me!